i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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