singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
