awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
