I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
