Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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