just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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