Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
