I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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