I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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