Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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