Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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