she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
