And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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