Where is the hickey?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
