Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
