wanna go halves on a baby?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
