her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
