please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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