We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
