Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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