I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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