He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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