i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
