I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
