dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
