Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
