I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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