i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
