I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
