I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
