I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
