I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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