bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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