i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize