Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
