My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
