I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
