ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
