I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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