Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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