I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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