I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
