it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Someone shattered a urinal.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
