I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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