when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
