we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
