I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
