don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
