AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
we're so committed to being not committed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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