her vagine was all disorganized.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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