you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
