So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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